My last year of my 20's

 Hello, 

I resigned from my job with no job lined up today. I lasted 7 months in an environment that I felt was so toxic. I need to work on setting boundaries in the workplace. Life is quite uncertain right now. I looked at my past entry and looks like I am still lost. Although I have grown so much as a person, I feel like I spent my entire 20's being lost. 

I quit my previous job in June last year, shortly after my last entry. I loved that job; I had an amazing boss, coworkers whom I truly called my close friends, work I actually enjoyed. I left in pursuit of more money and a better title. I learned a lot in my role and this probably would open me up to many more opportunities (that I may not realize now), but ultimately, I am unsure if it was worth it. If anything, this experience taught me how to navigate difficult situations in the workplace. I will never let anyone nor a job take my softness and kindness away from me. 

Although I am lost, I am also excited to see what this new chapter of my life will bring. I am turning 29 in two months. I didn't want to spend the last year of my 20's being miserable and burnt out from a job. It's just a job. It will be ok. Everything will be ok. I have no choice but be ok. This is all temporary. 

So much has happened since the last entry, but I am tired. I will write a more thorough entry next time. Maybe when I turn 29. 

Bye now, 

Catherine

I started this blog in high school, I'm almost 30 now.

It's time for another yearly update for future Catherine (and whomever stumbles upon this blog). I realized I have had this blog since I was in high school. When reading my entries, I can see how much I have changed, and have grown from a girl to a woman (that was the point of my constantly journaling and blogging). I always record and take pictures of everything, so I wouldn't forget. 

I moved out last year in September. I finally bought a place (with my dad's help) and moved out. I decorated my home as I would have loved when I was a child. Life is peaceful and I have grown to appreciate my family more. I think we just needed the space. 

After I moved, I would only wake up to silence, not the sound of my dad's tv or my mom on the phone. My cat, Jiji, is no longer there to wake me up. I also would come home to silence and darkness, not my dad cooking dinner or my cat coming to greet me. But it is peaceful. 

My best friend, Sam, sent me a flyer about a black cat who needed a home. She was already called Gigi so Sam thought it was funny that there's another black cat with a similar name. 

I put in the request for her adoption and finally got her in November 2023. Now I have two black cats, Gigi and Jiji (who still lives with my parents). Gigi is so cute and affectionate, just like Jiji (although she doesn't like other animals). I found out she had aids in January :( but she is still a healthy cat otherwise. 

She taps you when she wants pets, she's very vocal, and she loves being cradled like a baby. I now wake up to her screaming (I can not sleep in because she knows the time that I wake up each day). I also come home to her screaming. Life is still peaceful. 

Other life updates -

I went to Japan for the first time with my family last summer! It was one of the best moments of my life. We went to Tokyo, Kyoto, Nagoya, and Osaka within two weeks. The food was great, the places were beautiful, and the people were kind. 

I performed twice last summer. I injured my shoulder over training and it wasn't the same since. 

I also went to Sedona and Phoenix last winter. Sedona was great! Phoenix was meh. 

I started tattooing early this year. It's something I've wanted to do for so long. I read a post that if you receive a calling, don't ignore it or it'll come back when you're in your 40's, and that is your mid-life crisis. At least if it doesn't work out, I know I have done my best. 

Tattooing isn't easy. It is as if I'm working two jobs (my full-time and this one). I'm still improving my skills, very slowly. I just starting tattooing humans last month! My work is on IG: @inkedbycatherine. I made this page last year not knowing when or if I will become a tattoo artist. It feels so great when people want to get my flash art tattooed on them. I feel so appreciated. 

I ended my five-year relationship about two months ago. My relationship before that was also five years. Hm. The relationship ended a week before my birthday. We usually celebrate my birthday together, but because I am now single, I didn't want to be excited for my day (even though I always did). My coworker suggested we go out for drinks. I had lunch with mom, took myself to a solo date to the bookstore, got myself flowers, and then went to the restaurant with my work friends. They got me presents and cake. They sang happy birthday, and I honestly truly felt so loved and grateful in that moment. 

I wonder if I am going to a quarter-life crisis. To be honest, I still feel pretty lost in my life right now; not as much as when I was in my early-twenties. Compared to my early 20's, life is so much better now. I have more confidence, independence, money, and experience in life. I have a lot more friends (good ones too) than I had eight years ago. I also definitely look better than I did when I was younger; I wear less makeup now and stopped dying my hair. I am financially stable and am no longer a broke college student. I know life isn't that bad, but I still feel like my life is in 'limbo' right now. I wish there was a manuel or spoiler alert of how my life will turn out. 

Ok bye! See u next year. 

BTW, I saw cherry blossoms for the first time in my life last month. For the past 3 months, I have taken allergy shots every week, and two separate allergy pills, nasal spray, and eye drops every single night. 

My Yearly Update

Hello, 

I will be 27 on April 10, it doesn't feel like my birthday is coming up to be honest. Time feels like it's flying by although our days feel long. 

I'm making another update because it's about 8:40pm and I don't really know what to do until I sleep at around 9:30pm. I go to bed early on nights where I have to go to the office the next day. 

It's crazy how I created this blog when I was in high school at 16 years old, and now I am telling you that I have to be in the office tomorrow lol

Now that I am closer to my 30's than to my teens, I found a need to be in touch with my 'inner child'. I have been drawing again, an activity I loved doing when I was little but had to stop because my parents told me to "put my damn interests away" and be a doctor whatever. I've also been reading A LOT. I read a total of 44 books last year, and so far I have read 14 books this year. 

I've also been trying to reconnect with old friends. Now that I am older, I value friendships more than ever. It is so hard to make new friends as an adult. I am so glad I have my pole community where I have made so many new friends. 

I feel like so much has happened since my last blog post, but at the same time it also feels like not much has happened because all I did was work and work. 

Well, I had a lot of family issues and I really hope I get out of it soon. I don't want to say anything about it yet. 

Other than that, the only interesting things I can think of are:

1. I went to Arizona with Nancy! My first time venturing out so far out to the west coast. It was just over the Labor Day weekend, but I had so much fun! Everyone was so nice and the food was great. It was 110F everyday and I LOVED it. Definitely my type of weather. 

2. I went to Miami with my partner! Also had a fantastic time. We went in the last week of December so it was great to be in 80+ degree weather when it was so cold in NYC. 

3. I got two tattoos in February. The skull one was for free, I won a giveaway. I totally manifested that shit. The crescent moon was a matching tat with my bff Sam. 

4. I went to see my favorite band, Pond. I had discovered them during my college days. It's crazy to finally seeing them perform in-person. It was my second concert and the first one that I went alone. Another thing that I noticed as I grow older is that I really value solitude. I used to be so scared and uncomfortable with doing things alone, but it's great lol

Anyway, I feel like 2023 really sucked for me besides the month of March. I feel like I'm cursed with extreme bad luck sometimes. I'm only saying this because it's always the small inconveniences that build up into a mountain of stress and inconveniences, and it only takes another small bad thing to happen that makes it the cherry-on-top, causing me to cry in an Olive BBQ Chicken. 

Also, the last quarter of the year to now is me trying to get out of my family situation. I feel like my life is currently in limbo. I ran away from home in September 2022 like a teenager. I feel like I wasn't the same ever since. Maybe that's also why I wanted to tap into my 'inner child' again. I missed the Catherine I was before. I am so bitter and full of rage now. 

Lastly, if you are not me and you are reading this. Thank you for reading and stopped by my blog! 

I don't get a notification for comments for some reason, so I apologize if it took me 2-3 years to get back to you lol

See you soon, 

Catherine 

Another life update

It has been about a year since my last post and about two years since my last life update. So here is one from Catherine, who turned 26 last month. Since the pandemic, time has felt like a blur.  I started this blog when I was in high school. Where has the time gone? How am I closer to being 30 than being a teen?

Anyway, I will start from where I left off last time- September 2020. My cat woke me up at 4am while he was playing and I couldn't fall back asleep. I am writing this while sleep deprived...

September-December 2020

This was the most difficult semester I've had in my graduate career. I had to memorize the entire brain to pass the class: every gyri, every sulci, every coronal slice, etc. I probably had memorized a total of about 150 brain areas. All my finals landed on the same day. I slept for an hour since I was studying the entire night, cried in the shower, took my first 4 hour final, took my oral exam (where I had to memorize 120+ brain parts), and then completed a written exam (which I submitted 4am the next day). 

2021

Tattoos:

I got my first tattoo on April 20, 2021. I saw an ad on Instagram for free tattoos. Being the impulsive individual that I am, I made an appointment. It was PAINFUL. The tattooer was an apprentice, I was probably his 10th client. He stuck his needle in so deep and dragged it onto my skin. I watched kdrama to distract myself from the pain, although I nearly fainted. 

Since then, I have gotten a tattoo every 1-2 months. I think I am addicted to tattoos, but they were not as painful as the first ones I have. Maybe I will include a pic of my with my tattoos.

Graduation:

I completed my Master's in Cognitive Neuroscience. It was painful and difficult, especially when I completed this during the pandemic. I cried so much. My days consisted of sleeping at 5:30am and waking up at 2pm (except when waking up for my 9:30am where I just logged into Zoom and then went back to sleep). 

Writing my thesis was even more painful. It was very frustrating and stressful. I don't know how I managed to submit my thesis an hour before the deadline, but I made it. It is published. 

I was very disappointed to not have a commencement because of Covid. I did get a 14 minute Youtube video with the graduates' names in "Star Wars format". 

My family and relatives gave me a at-home graduation celebration. It was very sweet. My aunt let me wear her graduation gown and cap from when she had her Master's. 

Life after graduation:

My parents pressured me to find a job after graduation (let me relax a bit first??). Thankfully, my PI gave me an opportunity to continue working with her over the summer until I find a job. I worked in an fMRI facility and I got to look at live images of the brain. Very Cool. 

My summer consisted of getting more tattoos and applying for jobs. I applied to a total of 100 positions. It is brutal out there. After a lot of interviewing, I finally got a job offer in November: job application #93. I was job searching for three long months.  

First vacation:

The week before my start date of my new job, I went to New Orleans with my partner. It is my first time traveling without family. I really loved it there. The weather was so warm, the food was delicious, and the people were so friendly. Unlike NYC, people say hi to you when you pass each other. 

New Job:

I started my first big girl job aka my first full-time job. It is like an office job. It can be very hectic and stressful at times, but for the most part I do enjoy it. Everyone is very welcoming and supportive. The only downside is that the commute is 1.5-2 hrs, but I WFH every other day so it isn't that bad. 

2022

We are five months into 2022 and to be honest, I don't really have any huge life updates. I've mainly been working and getting more tattoos as usual. 

I nearly forgot, but I got LASIK like two weeks ago. I was almost legally blind, but now I have 20/20 vision. Yay!

My most recent pic with my tattoos. Not shown: back and neck tattoo, the one behind my arm, and the ones on my ankles. Please don't tell my parents, they don't know about most of them especially the ones on my forearms. I also cut my hair last summer! I am living the short hair life now B)

I just realized it has been 10 years since this blog was created. I know no one reads this page except for the one or two people who have randomly stumbled on my blog. This is mainly for future Catherine to look back on. 

When reading my previous entries, I am always reminded that life really does come at you fast. 

New post?

 I swore I had written new post this year but apparently I did not. I can't believe the last post was last year in September and now we are seven months into 2021. Where has the time gone? It feels like the older you get, the faster time flies. I just realized we are almost halfway through July.

Life really does come at you fast. 

Update 2020

It seems like I update this blog every few years now. I am pretty sure no one checks this blog anymore so this post is solely for Future Catherine to read through when she's feeling nostalgic and sentimental (like right now). 

So what happened during the past two years? A LOT has happened, but let's start from where I left off from my last blog post.

2018

I ended my 5-year relationship two months after my last post. It was so abusive and so toxic. I really don't want to talk much about it, but it took a lot of therapy for me to unlearn my toxic traits and repair the damage I have gone through during the past five years. 

Anyways... I graduated! I remember I fell very ill the day before commencement, it was awful. I still went to the ceremony though (going out in public while sick is something that we definitely can't do anymore because...COVID. Oh boy, if 2018 Catherine knew about that).

After graduating, I have taken up the hobby of pole dancing. It's something I've wanted to try for so long, but I knew my ex would never approve. I fell in love with this art after my first class. Pole dancing is so fun and so empowering! I recommend everyone, regardless of their gender, to take at least one class. I still continue to pole dance and I share my progress here. I have met so many wonderful people whom I now call my pole sisters and I have performed in shows. Pole dance really has changed my life. 

Also between you and me, I ordered a pole recently (finally!) and I just received an email that it shipped! IM SO EXCITED!! 

Other than pole dance, I learned Carribean dance. I've always loved listening to dancehall and soca, but I never knew how to dance even though I feel the music in my bones. So basically, I can't stop dancing now.

2019

Only three major things occurred last year: 

1) I have a new partner whom I love with all my heart. This is the first relationship I've ever had that is normal and healthy. We don't argue, the most we have are heated conversations that we always resolve before the day ends. I am so grateful for his patience and understanding whenever my toxicity acts up again.

2) I took on two jobs. Unfortunately, dance classes are extremely expensive in NYC. At that time, I was also working in two different psychology labs (unpaid), so I was actually taking on four jobs. I was tired, but I always had time for dance. I would usually take classes in the evening after work or during my one day off. It was worth it. 

3) I started graduate school! I am in a Cognitive Neuroscience program. I was initially super excited but turns out it was hard as hell. I cried within the second week of grad school because I failed the first quiz. I ultimately dropped that class and am retaking it again this year (2020). I actually started seeing a therapist about graduate school because that class scarred me so much. 

2020

This is probably one of the worst years of my life, as well as pretty much everyone on this planet. So much shit has happened, that it feels like a fever dream. I'm just going to list out the shit that has occurred so far by month, because it feels like every month is some new shit happening and everyone is just bracing for what's about to come next.

January:

- Literally within the first few days of the year, we have the threat of WW3. 

- Kobe Bryant died

- Australia is still on fire

- A respiratory disease called COVID-19 was discovered in China, which became a pandemic that's still going on today. 

February:

- COVID started spreading through other countries. I don't really remember what else happened during this month except that people were very racist towards East Asians (including me) because they think we were the cause of COVID. 

Like seriously what the fuck do I gotta do with this? Anyway, it was the first time I experienced racism directly in years, so yeah experiencing it stung a bit. 

Anti-asian racism and hate crime against Asians quickly increased throughout the next couple of months. 

March:

- COVID arrived to NYC. The city pretty much shut down. It was a very stressful time for everyone. Schools became remote. Dance studios shut down, as did restaurants, markets, salons, etc. I temporarily lost my job. My family (and many other people) were very paranoid because we never had a global pandemic since 1918. 

My relationship became long-distance because we have to social distance now. It actually made our relationship stronger, and I've learned to be even happier spending time by myself. 

April:

- I spent my birthday at home. All the bakeries were closed so my mom decided to bake a cake which did not taste that great tbh :(

- I learned to knit

- I think Kim Jong Un faked his death or something, I'm not sure if it happened in April. Everything is like a blur. 

- Also, I think murder hornets was this month??

May: 

- Finished my first year of graduate school. My grades were average, but at least I passed...

- Protests and riots in response to racial injustice. NYC was placed on curfew for the first time in a very very long time. Protests are still going on today. Black Lives Matter! 

June: 

- Protests continue throughout this month (and still does today). I wanted to protest but I couldn't out of fear of the pandemic. I took my activism online, sent emails, made calls, and spread awareness. I made a linktree full of resources for the movement: https://linktr.ee/asians4blacklives

- My house went under renovations! It took about two months. The basement was completely redone and my brother moved there so he would have a bigger space. We also got new floorboards in the first floor of our house.

- Also, finally saw my partner again!

July:

- I got my job back! I now tutor remotely with 6th and 9th graders. 

- Something about the Bubonic Plague coming back.

- It's also not safe to be in Hong Kong now. The government passed this bill where if you say anything remotely against China, you will be prosecuted. I regret not coming to HK last year. I was about to but I changed my mind last minute because I just started working two jobs and was in the process of applying to grad school. 

August:

- The city is slowly opening up again. I got to see my friends!

- A lot of hurricanes. We had like two in NYC so far.

- Beirut explosion

- Chadwick Boseman passed away a few days ago. His death was one of the first celebrity deaths that I felt strongly about. It was very unexpected because no one knew he had cancer. He made an impact on so many people.

- Second year of grad school started, all my classes are remote (thank god because two of my classes are at 9am). I am retaking the class I dropped last year, and I am just as lost as I was the first time I took this class. 

ANyWAYs,

That's what happened so far this year. There was also this part where the government released papers confirming the existence of UFOs and that we are part of a simulation. However, everyone else was so preoccupied with everything going on in the world that no one really cared (except Twitter?). I don't remember when that happened, all the previous months have felt like a blur. March felt like ages ago albeit it has been six months since NYC has dealt with this pandemic. 

So... yeah. It's 1:31am right now so excuse any grammar mistakes. I am tired and also hungry so imma eat something and then sleep.

Good night! I will update this blog again in a few years (hopefully).

PS: If you're not Future Catherine and you have read through the entire thing, thank you for reading! My instagram is @clitosaurushex. I update my life there now :^)

New Year, Same Me

Hi Everyone,

Probably no one checks up on this blog anymore but I would like to update just in case there are some that still do (probably not, I haven't updated this blog in 2.5 years). However, I'm incredibly active on my instagram so please check it out! (https://www.instagram.com/cathercha/)

Well, I'm graduating college this semester. Time really does fly by. I remember a huge chunk of this blog was active during my freshman year of college.

Me on Monday, I grew my hair long (finally, it took like 3 years lol) My hair was also dyed darker but I asked the hair stylist to dye it a lighter color oh well

Anyway, let's backtrack a bit and allow me to share some things that occurred during the past few years of my absence. These events in my life are not in chronological order, I am just listing as I remember.

1) I got a cat. His name is Jiji and he will be two years old on March 30. He has changed my life so much and is the most affectionate cat I have come across. I love him. I made an instagram for him (even though I used to think people who make instagrams for their pets are weird). It is: instagram.com/jiji.theblackcat

2) I saw a therapist for the first time in 2017. I started seeing a counselor in my school and she then referred me to a psychotherapist. I thought it didn't help much but I became a lot less awkward and realized some things about myself.

3) I got accepted into a research program recently! I'm so excited and this was the first week of the program.

4) I went to Florida and the Bahamas for the first time in Summer 2017. I held an alligator for the first time.

Holding Al the Alligator in Florida

Atlantis waterpark

5) My retina (from my right eye) detached last month. So far, I've had a vitrectomy and four laser procedures. I will have my 5th one in two weeks. My retina is still detached so my vision is still impaired. I'm scared I'll need surgery because a vitrectomy does not improve its prognosis. I couldn't go to school or work (I had a new job) at all last month. It's a very dark time for me right now (even though I thought I wasn't depressed anymore).

6) I quit Hi-Tea on 01/01/15. I remember that day because it was New Years. The shop closed shortly afterwards. But I worked at another bubble tea shop last summer and I just stopped working last month to dedicate time for school. However, I did work today to cover someone. It was nice to be back to be honest.

7) I went to Hong Kong and Taiwan in Jan 2016. I was so depressed in 2015, I was at rock bottom. However, traveling to HK to meet my relatives whom I haven't seen in over 13 years slowly changed my perspective of my family (the main reason I was down in the dumps). I tried so many new foods, met new people, had so many new experiences.

 Went to the peak of Mt. Victoria, made it in time for the sunset.

 Night view of HK from the peak

 View from my Aunt's apartment

All-You-Can-Eat Japanese food and the best grape juice I've tried in my entire life

8) Wow I can't believe I forgot to add this earlier but I finally transferred to a new school in Fall 2016! It's so much better. The people are nicer, I've made so many new friends (I haven't made many when I was in Hunter). My anxiety levels were much lower now that I'm close to home. I'm also more active in school now and used so many of their services.

I permed my hair last summer LOL

9) I turned 21 last year so that means I went to bars for the first time. It was great and I realized I am a great dancer after a few shots (not really lol...). However, that phase of going out and drinking was short lived after I had one too many shots. I threw up several times and had a hangover that laster 1.5 days. I never drank much after that. I only order water or fruit juice at bars now (lame I know).

10) I got all A's in the semester of Spring '17. I was on the dean's list. This was the first and only time it happened. In 2017, my gpa went from a 2.9 to a 3.3. It was not easy.

I can't think of anything else in which something big occurred in my life. I mean, a lot of things happened but it didn't seem like it was needed mentioning. Well, I took the GRE (did average, going to retake it this semester), hung out with a group of friends for the first time and felt like I belonged, etc.

I guessed I changed as a person. I stopped being so hot-tempered, I don't ruminate as much, I can talk to unfamiliar people without internally freaking out, surprisingly I am comfortable with group presentations, and in all, I have a different outlook on life now. I arrived to the conclusion that the universe did not exist for the happiness of people. Once I finally came to terms with that, life was more understandable especially when facing adversities.

However, I am also still the same. I'm still pessimistic as hell! The greatest and most recent example is: I got into a recent program that provides a stipend; so I quit my job and therapy. A new chapter of my life is about to begin! *excited* Sike! My retina is detached which would hinder my remaining academic career. (y)

Anyway, this is the end of this blog entry. I am mainly typing this for myself so I can look back to this in a few years like how I looked back into my past entries now.

If you actually read til the end (thank you for that bc I am so boring), I hope you are doing well! I hope everything in life goes well for you c: Take care

- Catherine

HEY

It's been a long time since I've updated this blog since a lot of things have happened:

1) I STARTED WORKING!!

It's my first job so I've been really busy. I work in a drinks shop that sells bubble tea and all that good stuff. c:

2) I WENT ON VACATIONNNNN

A cruise to Bermuda to be exact.  I'll be posting blog entries on that soon as well as the ones from the past two months.

Thank you to those who continue to visit my blog even though I haven't updated in almost two months lol!

I can't believe my blog reached 25k views! Thanks ^_^

Post-Gallery Adventure

After the art gallery, we went to get lunch. We walked on the High Line to see the view of the city. It used to be a railroad but it is now an attraction for tourists and New Yorks alike.

I saw this on the side of a building while walking there~

We had ramen in the Chelsea Pier marketplace. It tasted really good but it was very expensive and not filling at all. I finished it in five minutes!

The bowl was at least $10 and I added an egg which was actually $2 extra :I

We went to Tours de Jours Bakery at Korea Town afterwards for dessert. They served shaved ice- decorated with condensed milk, red beans, fruits and ice cream. 

It looks so colorful and lovely. I ordered the green tea shaved ice. It was very expensive though ($13!). It was mainly ice and I couldn't finish it in the end. I kept coughing bc it was so cold :(

After dessert, we decided to go home. It was a fun day c:

The Jane Lombard Gallery

After viewing Yayoi Kusama's gallery, we went to see the gallery across the street. 

It was completely empty so we could take as many photos as wanted :p

Counting bugs with Vanessa; there were these huge ant-looking bugs crawling on the windows!

At first I thought there were only two bugs (and one dead one) but Diana said to look up and there were a BUNCH OF THEM crawling on the window ughh gross! I wouldn't want to put my artwork in a room infested with bugs :(

I've been shaping my eyebrows but I can't get the shape I had a few months ago :c

'supp

After a couple more photos, we went to get some lunch. I was rather grossed out by the number of bugs I saw. There was even one at the door handle when we left!

But other than that, I enjoyed the artwork very much. I should have read more on the artist upon entering.

Give Me Love

Happy Brooklyn-Queens day! 

I went to the David Zwirner Gallery in Chelsea to see Yayoi Kusama's work with Diana and her daughter, Vanessa. We took a lot of pictures c:

There are two parts of the gallery: one is a house as shown in the photo above and the other is a standard gallery which contains sculptures from the artist. There is an extremely long line to the house; I can see why though!

Upon entry in the house, we were each given stickers. When we went inside, a lot more stickers were added in the room. People put stickers everywhere including themselves :b

It was the wrong idea to wear these shoes: they absolutely killed the back of my feet. It was so much that the back of my right foot started bleeding. I had to limp to the gallery like an injured lamb lol  I bought some band-aids at Duane Reade but I bought the wrong size so they kept falling off. It took around three band-aids to get it stick on the back of my feet :c

Anyway, here are more pics!

We were only allowed five minutes in the house since there were so many people waiting in line. We went to see the sculptures afterwards.

How does one even pose with a pumpkin?

There is a strict rule against touching the artwork. This guy was putting his arm through the hole of the sculpture and the guard yanked him arm out like damn sonn :0

After a short while, we left the gallery, took a short breather and then visited another gallery. Next blog entry coming soon! ^_^