♦:- Chillin at Mitsuwa -:♦

It was Colin and I's six months of dating. I wanted to take him to Mitsuwa Marketplace since I normally had a great time there and the food is amazing. 

However, things did not turn out the way I planned it to be :/

• We planned to take the 10:15 shuttle bus there but Colin arrived late and we missed the bus.
• When we got to Port Authority Bus Terminal, we went to our bus gate. I asked the woman if it was the start of the line and she said yes. So Colin and I went to the other end of the line in which the man told us this was actually the start of the line. We had to walk all the way back to the other end and there were more people. So embarrassing! When the bus finally arrived after ten minutes of waiting (it comes every 30 minutes), there was not enough seats for us when we were about to get on. Stupid woman lahh...
• The bus was small but it was all right. The trip from NYC to Edgewater was 15 minutes. When we arrived, there was a HUGE line of people waiting to get into Mitsuwa.
• Colin and I went to the outlet near the marketplace and got some Starbucks. I ordered a salted caramel hot chocolate!Who knew putting salt in it tastes so good *0* We just chatted for a really long time while we waited for the marketplace to cool down.

• We went back to the marketplace. The line was gone but it was still so crowded inside. Colin felt awkward because there were a lot of Asians and he felt like everyone was staring at him.
• We couldn't find seats at the food court so we went to buy some riceballs and we ate at the bay.

We got three riceballs. I forgot what the fillings were though because I was so hungry. I saved my stomach for the ramen but there was an extremely long line ;n;

• We talked more while we sat on the edge of the bay. I guess we sat for a long time because I caught a cold afterwards.
• Later, we took the bus home. Colin was busy typing up his English essay on his phone. I felt like he didn't even want to go and I just dragged him with me.

I enjoyed spending time with my mann but it wasn't that fun to be honest :/ We barely did anything. We could have went to a Japanese restaurant in Manhattan instead. That would've been much better.

Entering the road of neon lights~

"The Nation's Premier Nighttime 5k run/walk experience! Immersive Lands of light and sound that transport the participant into an electric wonderland!"

It was Sam and I's first Electric Run and it was crazy!! 

Loud upbeat music and a lot of people covered in glow-in-the dark accessories was what made the run extremely exciting ^u^

We went to the starting line. There were a lot more people than I had expected. As we walked, people were taking photos of their "glowing" friends and performers danced with neon lights.

Waiting for the starting line. We had to wait for awhile and it was really crowded. It was still pretty fun because the sky just turned dark and the music was playing :b

Finally the walk begins!!

We jogged under this really pretty tunnel. There were bright and colorful things set around the field we jogged. It was hard not to take photos c':

A water fountain stereo. It moves by the beat!

Refreshments! They're just water; the cups glow under a black light c:

After jogging (but mostly walking lol) 5k, there was a stage where people threw glow sticks and played music. Everyone just danced and had fun~ 

We danced and when a Lana del Rey remix came on, we sang a lot along with everyone :3

I remember in the beginning of the run I was freezing but after dancing and jogging, I was breaking a sweat. Probably also because everyone's body heat; it was really crowded :d

Anyway, we left at like 10pm. I had a great time! This was my first successful run. It didn't even feel like 5k! Since when was jogging so fun? ^u^

Tired as fuck~

I filtered this picture horribly lol~ Anyway, I'm wearing a striped shoulder cut-off shirt from Forever21 underneath my boyfriend blazer which is from Uniqlo. I wore a lot of rings and threw on a scarf as my accessories~

Today was really boring and this week is so long. I have to go to some stupid college fair later. It's stupid because I'm not even going to pay attention there anyway and I'm not interested into any SUNY's.

I want to wash my makeup off and take a nap BUT NOOO I can't I gotta go to fucking Manhattan to attend the fair. I hate applying for colleges; so fucking complicated and dumb. Fuck you College Board and every one who organized and planned the application process.

I'm grumpy because I'm tired as fuck. I wake up 5:30am everyday and I come home wanting to rest. I have so much shit to do right now as well.

Fucking college fairs, my parents just go so they can be "good parents". If they don't my aunts will scold them for not caring.

/rant over tired as fuck want to pass out bye. 

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Just got back home

So fucking exhausted. The fair was a waste of time. I don't even have time to nap because I have so much shit to do and study for.

Beauty is pain; fashion before weather!

I wore the sweater from Pinegrove Ranch today. I matched it with black opaque tights and my black oxford heels. My feet are hurting a lot now ;3;

First period: I arrived to class at 7:10am to see a substitute teacher. I chatted with my friends during the period so it wasn't that bad. Whenever I arrive to class on time, the teacher is absent. When I am late, the teacher is here -_-

Second period: Group work. I h9 group work but my group talked about Lana del Rey so it wasn't that bad.

Third period: I learned about fingerprints in Forensics. I love that class *3*

Lunch: Boring as usual~ Just sat in the library with my budsz.

Fifth period: English class is probably the most tedious class ever. Macbeth is an interesting book but my teacher makes it seem so boring. Sighh I have so much homework in that class...

Sixth period: Government teacher was absent.

Seventh period: Ran 20 laps in gym for the pacer. Fucking exhausted lol!

After that I went to Colin's place to watch SnK. New episodes come out on Saturdays but I tell him to wait so we can watch it together :b 

We ordered pizza and cheesy bread via online order/ delivery and we ate while we watched the episode. OMGG IT'S SO INTENSE! I still love Annie though; she's a sick character ;3; ♥

We took a nap afterwards. Colin snores so loud and he's such a deep sleeper lol! I woke up a few minutes before him and he didn't even wake up when I was brushing my hand through his hair. After awhile I got bored so I blew on his face to wake him up :b

My feet started to hurt when I got home. I tried extremely hard not to limp; it's doesn't look cute when girls limp in heels. I managed to make it home and now my feet hurts like shit.

Beauty is pain, beauty is pain....

Date with mah mann

Today, Colin and I went to see Prisoner. It was such a freaky movie!

Originally my outfit of the day but I thought it was too formal to see a movie. I changed into a pair of jeans and flats afterwards.

Colin was going to be late (as usual lol jk :b) so we missed the movie at 3:50pm which was the one we were planning to watch. He took the bus to meet me and we decided to go to Kings Plaza mall and catch the movie at 6:05pm. Turns out he was late because he went to get a haircut lool

Anyway, we shopped around a bit and then we went to the theaters. The movie was a thriller and omg it was so suspenseful and some parts were so disturbing! Nonetheless, it was a great movie c:

It was around 9pm when we left the theaters. The movie was so long! It was rather late to eat at a restaurant (we were planning TGI Friday's) so we ate at a pizzeria near my place.

25 cent ring he bought for me from a vending machine. Soo romantic lool!

After pizza, he walked me home. It was late and we were both cold. The autumn weather arrived early this year~

I'm really tired right now but I had a lot of fun today ^u^ ♥

To elongate your neck:

• Choose v-neck tops
• Tie hair up or have a short hair style
• Wear blouses with pointed collars unbuttoned
• Choose long chained necklaces and dangling earrings
• Don’t wear turtlenecks, tops with round necklines, or choker style necklaces.

To shorten your neck:

• Choose turtlenecks and jewel neck shirts
• Let hair down 
• Wear rounded or short earrings
• Wear blouses with the collar up
• Accessorize with thick jewelry

[Source] 

Outfit of the Day~

Sam and I made Lana del Rey shirts using plain white tees and some transfer paper. I received a few compliments on it at school ^u^ 

We were planning to host a giveaway in which the winners will receive a shirt their request but we never did it :/

Cardigan from Express, belt from Charlotte Rouse and shorts from Forever21~! ♥

lol just chillin~

LOLOL I look mad scared. He's weird but I like him that way c:

Turn up!!

lol jk I just put on the dress, took a few pics for 15 min and took it off

Outfit of the Day: top from Forever21.  Looks like I'm not wearing a bra right? :D lol I'm wearing a bandeau underneath~

It's finally Friday! It has been such a long week. I'm going on a short vacation this weekend. I don't want to go because it's the same place I went to for a school trip and I had bad memories there :c

I rather stay home and chill while I don't have much homework from school sighhh...

Mad hot out today ;A;

~Outfit of the Day~

• It's my last year in high school so I don't really care what to wear anymore lol. I love rompers because it's so convenient. No need to worry about what to match with this or that; just throw on a cardigan if it gets chilly~ c:

It's 95 degrees today. School was disgustingly hot; my non-existent boobs were sweating. ughhh

The day felt so long but after school I went to Target with my friend, Connie because she had to buy something. She treated me an aloe drink since it was hot outside and I was broke ;3; ♥

While I was waiting for the bus home, this guy randomly asked me if I was a freshman at the college near my school. I told him I'm a senior in my high school and he asked if I wanted to go swimming with his six friends at the college pool. 

"Are you done with your classes?"

"Yeahh I'm done for the day."

"You should come with my friends to go swimming at the college pool"

"I have stuff to do after this haha~"

"It's gonna be fun"

"Sorry I have a dinner tonight."

"It's gonna be at five."

"Oh well my dinner is at six so yeah haha"

Ok the conversation didn't go exactly like that but fuck I'm a terrible liar lah. HE'S SO PERSISTENT. Anyway, he kept asking and persuading me to come like I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU MANN. CHILL SONN. In the end, I bluntly passed. 

He then asked me what stop I was getting off on (wtf don't follow me home plz). And I made small talk with him so it wouldn't be awkward. Finally, the bus came and I stayed in the front of the bus so I wouldn't have to talk to him 

Oh! Here's a video I recorded this morning at like 6am with my bum ass hair and my bum ass face because I was tired and sick of school already even though it's only the 3rd day lol.

♣:- Governor's Island and really good food -:♣

Today I went to Governor's Island with my high school buddies. I first met up with Steven so we can go together to meet the group. 

This bum ass h0ee lah. He said we were supposed to meet the group by 10:30 when the time was actually 10:00am =A=;;

Camerawhoring on the train! kawaii af right ;3; lol not rly

We met up with everyone (who were pretty pissed cus we were late not my fault lah). We took the ferry to the island. So pretty! ^u^

When we arrived on the island, we settled down to have a picnic. I didn't eat much because I wasn't feeling well in the morning. 

You can see Manhattan, Brooklyn and New Jersey at the same time on the island. It's pretty amazing :b

I played volleyball with them for awhile. Mann, I really suck lah but it was fun!

 

After a few hours, I had to leave to go to the doctor's. 

(I quickly went on the balcony to record this before the tourists took over that spot lol)

(On the ferry; I fell asleep and when I woke up the boat was empty ;A;)

I spent probably three hours waiting in the doctor's office. When I got out, I was starving. I haven't eaten anything else besides chips and cookies ;n;

I had dinner at a Chinese restaurant called XO Taste. The food was extremely delicious!

Hong Kong style milk tea~

I never had a thing for salads but this one tastes impeccable!

The entrees; sizzling steak pans with spaghetti! ♥

Doesn't this look good?

Okay, I'm done rubbing it in your face. You guys are probably drooling by now lol :b

Anyway, I was exhausted by then. I only had three hours of sleep so I'm like about to fall over :c

Today was pretty great though! I hope you guys had a wonderful day as well~!

Why did that man glare at Colin and me?

I was walking with Colin with my arm on his arm, and then some Asian guy on his bike gave me that look. He turned his head to look three times as he passed by us and each time he was scowling more and more... like the fuck you lookin at punk

"Why did that man look at me like that?" I asked Colin. 
"Probably because you're with me," he teased.
"Ahh you dishonah ah famry! You date black guy!" he then joked with a Chinese accent. 
"I be like fuck you lah!" I laughed.

But I was still bothered by that man's look. So rude.
Why do people stare at us so much? Why do some glare at us :/? 

Is it because it's rare to see a blasian couple? (lol probably though)

I mean, this isn't really the first time I see people stare at us, but I've never seen anyone stare at us so hatefully. I don't notice the stares sometimes though but Colin points it out when people do. We just laugh it off though.

But there are some nice strangers. Like once Colin and I were on the train, and this man was smiling at us and told Colin he went to China and he learned to speak Chinese and Korean. It was pretty cool because he spoke fairly well and I understood what he said :)

Anyway, I don't feel as bad because we had McDonald's afterwards. I was broke as fuck so I paid for my McDouble in nickel, dimes, and pennies (it was $1.09 lol) so cheap lah! I felt embarrassed because it's like I was dirt poor so Colin let me order his food with his debit card and he ordered mine with my coins lol!

They say the brain is most active during the night.

It is 3:07am. I was exhausted and sleepy from going out the entire day, but now I am alert and unable to sleep. 

I originally typed up an extremely long entry of how much I dreaded school but the rant became so vulgar I deleted it :c

I'm not looking forward to school because I haven't talked to anyone from there for the whole summer. It's gonna be really awkward, but this is my last year in high school so I should make the best of it. 

Anyway, hey y'all how you guys doinn?

why am I asking this when I only have four people following this blog...

Summer vacation was all right for me. It was not that great but I had fun regardless. Sometimes it is good to have pain in your life so happiness will be more enjoyable. 

Life has been especially difficult for me this summer due to many reasons. At first I was really upset by them but now I am emotionless, apathetic to every obstacle I face. 

What problems did I face?

• Family: My parents are on the verge of divorce. Dad is trying to save the family but I feel like we're living in a fantasy world. We go out for dinner and shopping and everything but deep down everyone knows that this family is doomed. This is not even a family, we are just people who live under the same roof. 
• College: It is that time in my life in which I start deciding my majors and colleges. It is stressful, tedious, stupid, annoying, etc. I H9 COLLEGE. period. Fuck you college board with a capital F. 
• Relationships: With people, with my man, with friends. It is hard, it really is. Sometimes or often times I worry that he will leave me someday. I think this because every guy I have been close with has left me.

• My face sucks: I've been breaking out a lot lately. My confidence is extremely low. I don't want to show people my ugly face. 
• I'm sick: I think I have a kidney infection which is serious...I think. It was a simple UTI but now it has progressed into something more serious. I've been in pain this whole summer and antibiotics are not working for shit. My back has been hurting lately especially where my kidneys are. I tell my mom my back hurts. She looks at me and walks away. 

What I listed down is only a portion of the obstacles I am facing. Sometimes life disappoints me so much that I don't believe in anything anymore. I feel really depressed lately. I thought I was just overreacting but then I reevaluated my life, it kinda sucks lol.

Because I have so much shit constantly thrown at me, I do not believe in anything anymore; no miracles, no hopes, no trust for anything or anyone. I feel like breaking down often but I've never cried since my last breakup (maybe a tear or two but never the waterworks). .

You know, I think I'm depressed. Like I just don't feel anything anymore. More bad things happen? Ok, I'm used to it. 

The world is gray. People are gray. The sky is gray. That's okay though because gray is my favorite color.

Ok that did not make sense lol. 

I am digressing... 

No one knows how I am feeling. Not even my man,  I'm going to stop saying my man now, Colin knows. He probably knows I am feeling really upset since he's the only person who knows what is truly going on in my life. I wonder what he thinks of me. He probably thinks I am so troublesome. I try to visualize how people view me sometimes and so far to me, I am an annoying person.

Sighh, I never knew I would be the one to have so many problems. I read stories of teenagers who lead difficult lives (although I am almost an adult). Mine is probably not as bad... I am probably overreacting. But I feel deep sadness most of the time to the point where I dislike doing certain things.

Like what?

• Eating makes me angry. I can't eat a lot of things such as diary, salty and sugary foods, and caffeinated drinks because of my sickness. The true form of hell is when you have all the delicious food in front of you but you can never eat it. I also lose my appetite because of my sadness; I eat only one to two meals a day. I get full pretty quickly. My parents always bring up how little I eat. I get so angry, it is my business! I eat when I want to! I know they're being parents but I am almost an adult. I can care for myself.
• I sleep late and wake up early. I usually have bad dreams. You know what's really strange? I dream about things that are opposite of reality. For example, whenever I dream about my ex, he is evil and mean because in reality, he is the opposite. After our relationship ended, he was nice in my dreams because in reality, he no longer has feelings for me. This has happened countless times with different people and events. Therefore, whenever I have good dreams, it is actually a bad thing. So I have to have bad dream or if I am lucky, neutral dreams. 
• I don't feel like talking to people. I don't want to talk to my family. Well basically, I don't feel like talking to people in person anymore. I just want to stay in my room and wait until my life can be somewhat brighter...

Typing this up makes me feel more like shit. Maybe because I am getting sleepy, after all I woke up at 8am today. I actually had an okay dream. I dreamed that I ate something really delicious. It was some Chinese food and was the most delicious thing I have tasted. 

Sighh...may tomorrow be a better day.

It is 3:54am. Did I really spend almost an hour typing this up? Dayumm sonn I should sleep then. 

Good night, I hope you are having a better sleep than I do~ ♥

If you are having a tough time too, remember, it can't always rain forever. There will always be a rainbow in the end. Well some shit like that lol I don't remember got that off myspace lol :B